First for everything!

I nearly created a blog under a new heading, where it isn't under the "adventure begins" because it doesn't really feel like the beginning anymore. It feels like a normal, routine. The moments of adventure seem to have passed and normal life is occurring. But. This still IS an adventure, WE ARE still having new experiences and whilst it may be a lesser adventure than 3 years ago. It still counts.

This last month we have had a few "firsts" Yesterday we had the privilege of being invited to our friends baby gender reveal party, because lets face it thats a thing now. Back in the day.. SEE... I ALREADY feel old and i'm not!! I don't even think i blame it on "American culture" because it seems to be EVERYWHERE! But after a tremendously tough few weeks it was nice to attend something fun and celebrate something new and exciting.

When we decided to move over here, it was warts and all. It's take the good with the bad and we will deal with it when we get to it. What we didn't expect, was for things to come crashing down so quickly AND it never crossed our minds that we would attend a funeral over here, maybe that was naive of us, but I guess that is the nature of the beast.
A special girl at the cross fit box I attend, lost her life in a moment. I spoke to her a handful of times, I wish it was more and it won't be the same without her. I attended her funeral with a sense of curiosity, to compare what I have experienced back home, but most importantly I needed to be around my adopted family and friends. It was a special funeral, that was something like I have never experienced and I don't want to go to one again anytime soon. The kicker of it all, was this happened on the same week my nan had her funeral. The one I couldn't go to, the one where I should have been at to help my family and grieve for her properly. It bought a sense of closure, and in a way I could grieve for both losses at the same time. But it was a lot of sadness all at once, a time where I would escape to the gym to get through the emotions of loosing my nan but then my safe space turned into sadness too.  I've never really thought myself as strong minded, but over the last few months I see a glimmer of hope, that maybe I am.
Loosing nana just a month ago, is something that still doesn't feel real. I spoke to her more times since I moved over here, than when I did in the UK. She is irreplaceable and the thought of going home and not seeing her, is a horrible thought that I can't even touch upon. She gave the women in our family a lot of traits, including stubbornness and a liking for tea. She was a second mum, a substitute dad and a woman with a wicked sense of humor.

So call it a moment of madness, or a sense of urgency to feel like i've ACTUALLY achieved something in my life. During that week of grieving and loss, I signed up there and then to study. Because I had a moment, a wake up and smell the roses kind of thing. I've loved fitness, I love to help people. I don't do well with sitting still and I like to be busy. BUT i'm still the girl that LOOKS like she needs a personal trainer, so i've always had it in my mind that once I loose the XX pounds I need to loose then I would be a personal trainer. I sat on this train for a long time, even spoke to friends about it who told me, my thought process of waiting to look fitter was crazy. So here I am, studying for the first time in a gazillion years, learning how to become a personal trainer AND a nutrition coach. I did it to better myself, to learn and apply it to myself and then maybe help others too. I still have a problem going to a normal gym outside my cross fit gym. I am intimidated by the weights area, I will not go to a class if theres more than 5 people in there who will look at me when I enter. So, IF i'm going through that, and I KNOW there is other people too. Why can't I be the one to help them get over that fear? IF I help someone else to do it, that will make it easier for me in the long run?? I want to hold your hand and cheer you on, because I need it too.
I did this too, because I still cannot work, without forking out hundreds of dollars to get a employment card. We are still going through the green card application, which will mean I CAN work, but it won't be happening anytime soon. So studying it is, even though I struggle to retain information, find it hard to put in the time and still get the feeling i've made a weird decision!

The other first that happened this week, was my son having a girlfriend. Completely took me by surprise and made me have a little freak out. Making me reminisce about all the secondary school (high school) drama. Having to talk to him about certain things, especially as now it's all social media and on the phones. I have no doubt that one day he will read this and be embarrassed but. Hey. Guess it's a part of life. But lets face it, the fact he has an English accent will do him good in years to come :D

So who knew, that there would still be first experiences. We are approaching the 4 year mark since we found out about coming over here. 4 years since I was pregnant and emptying a whole house and thinking about leaving it all behind. At this point in time, things are on the up. I feel like we are waiting around for the next step, but when that is all said and done. I know we will relax and this really will become our home.

Ta-ra
xxxx