First for everything!

I nearly created a blog under a new heading, where it isn't under the "adventure begins" because it doesn't really feel like the beginning anymore. It feels like a normal, routine. The moments of adventure seem to have passed and normal life is occurring. But. This still IS an adventure, WE ARE still having new experiences and whilst it may be a lesser adventure than 3 years ago. It still counts.

This last month we have had a few "firsts" Yesterday we had the privilege of being invited to our friends baby gender reveal party, because lets face it thats a thing now. Back in the day.. SEE... I ALREADY feel old and i'm not!! I don't even think i blame it on "American culture" because it seems to be EVERYWHERE! But after a tremendously tough few weeks it was nice to attend something fun and celebrate something new and exciting.

When we decided to move over here, it was warts and all. It's take the good with the bad and we will deal with it when we get to it. What we didn't expect, was for things to come crashing down so quickly AND it never crossed our minds that we would attend a funeral over here, maybe that was naive of us, but I guess that is the nature of the beast.
A special girl at the cross fit box I attend, lost her life in a moment. I spoke to her a handful of times, I wish it was more and it won't be the same without her. I attended her funeral with a sense of curiosity, to compare what I have experienced back home, but most importantly I needed to be around my adopted family and friends. It was a special funeral, that was something like I have never experienced and I don't want to go to one again anytime soon. The kicker of it all, was this happened on the same week my nan had her funeral. The one I couldn't go to, the one where I should have been at to help my family and grieve for her properly. It bought a sense of closure, and in a way I could grieve for both losses at the same time. But it was a lot of sadness all at once, a time where I would escape to the gym to get through the emotions of loosing my nan but then my safe space turned into sadness too.  I've never really thought myself as strong minded, but over the last few months I see a glimmer of hope, that maybe I am.
Loosing nana just a month ago, is something that still doesn't feel real. I spoke to her more times since I moved over here, than when I did in the UK. She is irreplaceable and the thought of going home and not seeing her, is a horrible thought that I can't even touch upon. She gave the women in our family a lot of traits, including stubbornness and a liking for tea. She was a second mum, a substitute dad and a woman with a wicked sense of humor.

So call it a moment of madness, or a sense of urgency to feel like i've ACTUALLY achieved something in my life. During that week of grieving and loss, I signed up there and then to study. Because I had a moment, a wake up and smell the roses kind of thing. I've loved fitness, I love to help people. I don't do well with sitting still and I like to be busy. BUT i'm still the girl that LOOKS like she needs a personal trainer, so i've always had it in my mind that once I loose the XX pounds I need to loose then I would be a personal trainer. I sat on this train for a long time, even spoke to friends about it who told me, my thought process of waiting to look fitter was crazy. So here I am, studying for the first time in a gazillion years, learning how to become a personal trainer AND a nutrition coach. I did it to better myself, to learn and apply it to myself and then maybe help others too. I still have a problem going to a normal gym outside my cross fit gym. I am intimidated by the weights area, I will not go to a class if theres more than 5 people in there who will look at me when I enter. So, IF i'm going through that, and I KNOW there is other people too. Why can't I be the one to help them get over that fear? IF I help someone else to do it, that will make it easier for me in the long run?? I want to hold your hand and cheer you on, because I need it too.
I did this too, because I still cannot work, without forking out hundreds of dollars to get a employment card. We are still going through the green card application, which will mean I CAN work, but it won't be happening anytime soon. So studying it is, even though I struggle to retain information, find it hard to put in the time and still get the feeling i've made a weird decision!

The other first that happened this week, was my son having a girlfriend. Completely took me by surprise and made me have a little freak out. Making me reminisce about all the secondary school (high school) drama. Having to talk to him about certain things, especially as now it's all social media and on the phones. I have no doubt that one day he will read this and be embarrassed but. Hey. Guess it's a part of life. But lets face it, the fact he has an English accent will do him good in years to come :D

So who knew, that there would still be first experiences. We are approaching the 4 year mark since we found out about coming over here. 4 years since I was pregnant and emptying a whole house and thinking about leaving it all behind. At this point in time, things are on the up. I feel like we are waiting around for the next step, but when that is all said and done. I know we will relax and this really will become our home.

Ta-ra
xxxx

Sunny daze

There have been moments over the last few months where I've wanted to write on here, but life got in the way! 

So the terrors are on summer holidays from school. And yes. Saying Summer holidays over here, is confusing to most people. It's summer vacation, or summer break. We have had a few instances over the last few months, that I have noticed our language has changed to the "Americanish"my son once called it. Every now and again I make a point of it to them, but otherwise I let it slide. Because after all, they have to make sure people understand them at school! 

There will be little reminders of England that we will talk about, for instance. Malteasers are new over here, whereas that's has always been their favourite chocolate! They still refuse to have hershey's  and won't go near Mac n Cheese. But most importantly no one, likes peanut butter!!!! 

But what is noticeable, is that my middle son is starting to forget certain things about what we used to do in the UK. It saddens me, because there is such an attachment to the UK and when I have to remind him, it seems so alien to him. But I guess thats what happens when you move to another country at 5 years old! 

We have just had the next step of our green card application through, where we have to get fingerprints taken and have a little interview! It's scary but not as worrying as what we went through to get here. Considering we have bought a house, made a life and settled in though. It makes me feel nervous that it could all be for nothing. But i'm a worrier. I seem to get nervous about a lot more than I ever used to! 

Recently my husband surprised me with a trip to New Orleans, the most amazing break away from life. The best time, where we could relax and be humans, not just parents. But I was worried, all the what ifs, the slight overreactions of something small. I have always considered myself a open person that wants to go see everything and experience it all. But I think I've been in a bubble of routine for so long that i've forgotten what it's like to step out of my comfort zone! 

Talking of comfort zones, I recently competed in my first crossfit competition! I mean seriously, who does that for FUN?! But in a weird way, it was.  I liked the challenge I set for myself. It was something that I signed up for because I NEEDED to get out of my bubble. I'm so self critical and doubtful of myself that I needed to push myself. 

There were a few things that worried me, going on first was a horrible thought, but then when I walked into the "box" I was intimidated! Being in the front and surrounded by crazy fit people, petrified me! But once I was doing the work, I was ok. I was too out of breath to care what I looked like. Until I stepped out and saw a photo of me where all I saw was rolls of fat and then my brain started going into overload. The point is, theres always something I'm going to be worried about, or being self critical about. But i'm proud to have done it, and i'm stronger mentally because of it! 

We have entered the potty training/transition to big bed, for my husband.. i mean youngest child1 :D Fairly uneventful apart from being peed on mid tantrum and him peeing all over the shopping trolley whilst in the middle of the shop! Nothing worthy of attention! But a humorous part of life! I feel like, we finally know what we are doing. 3 kids in and we've become the super cool, chill, parents that we wanted to be with the first child. There is no way in a million years you could persuade me to have another baby. That phase is over, life can begin again. But it's a lot of fun with all the boys. i'm surrounded and thats ok. I was never really the girlie girl. Apart from the crying. I do that a lot. Still. Full floods of tears, incomprehensible talk. The whole thing. 

Anyhoo, thats all for now folks! 

xx

The sky isn't falling in...

Guess i've dropped the ball on this blog!! 

As it's been a while, i'll try not to ramble on too much.. but no promises! 

It has been an interesting few months over here, from the craziness of a new school for Ollie, Christmas, skiing, and hospital trips! But lets get the biggie out the way shall we? Experiencing the election!!! 
Now first off, it's in your face all of the time. Every advert, every road. Everywhere you could possibly go - theres a sign in support of a candidate. The radio, is full of approved messages and reasons WHY you should vote. Imagine the local candidate races in the UK where the signs are everywhere, the window stickers are up. Except it was a lot more intense - with the feeling of relief..when it was over? No. Now the election is over, the shock and awe of people that this guy, is President. Lots of debates, arguments, discussions. I get the feeling its a lot like how it went down, when Brexit happened. I stay away from it, as much as possible. But the kids had a mock election at school, they come home asking if the president will kick us out of the country because, we are on a visa. It's impossibly hard to stay away from any discussion or debate. And i'm the outsider. The one who couldn't vote. We are on a visa! We are going through the green card application. Who knows what could happen? Most likely, nothing. BUT I feel like we are playing a waiting game, for the ball to drop and for us to figure out. What's next?
We have been going through this green card application for a few months now, paying some money, sending off paperwork. But what was unexpected for me, was having a compulsory flu jab, to go through all our vaccinations over the last 30 years and have the necessary top ups. It was exhausting, expensive and frustrating. So for all the conspiracy theorists out there, you go through the green card application - they take your blood and make a clone out of you... maybe? Perhaps not!

Other than the usual day to day dramas, things are good. We are coming up to three years being over here! I can't say that i wouldn't go back to the UK tomorrow if i could, but everything so far. Is still great. I still get the odd surprise from people, when they hear my accent, but I don't feel as "lost" as I used to. Since we bought our own home, I feel less anxious and feel more settled. It's been so easy to get back into a normal routine, almost too easy! I want to everything, go everywhere and experience it all. And then reality sinks in, soccer .. sorry.. football matches, sitters for the dogs, schedules... .blah blah blah. 
But over the course of these crazy Three years. We have developed a little family of friends. People we can call at a moments notice to watch the kids, have crazy drunken nights out with, and we have enough space to hold parties and let the kids have a billion friends over! I'm so grateful for the village of people that have made this country a home. 

Daves company got taken over by a bigger company, so we are waiting around to see what implications that have. There won't be anything that affects our application, but it's another waiting game. I've been job hunting for a few months, i feel a little lost in myself and miss the buzz. I love being at home and have a great routine, but I feel like my brain is slowly dwindling away - so I need to find something for me again! I still love doing my fitness side of things, I have joined an amazing group of bad-ass people who are so inspiring. I still need to start teaching Insanity - but i'm working on myself right now! 

Other than that, the clan are all good. Spring is NEARLY.. here?! ":D

xx